[ MBP has just become your kitchen's new MVP ]

Chefs, nerds, design lovers can now harmoniously unite-behold the MacBook Pro wood cutting board. Want. Need. Must have. Chchchhheck it out here.

[ things aren't always what they appear on the surface... ]

I'm glad the annual Ikea catalogue doesn't bring home the drama one might discover behind the pages of streamlined living. The award winning short film by Houben & Van den Boogaard reveals the not so seemingly perfect lives behind Crest Strip white smiles and impeccably styled abodes that is Page 23. Clever. Kind of creepy. But very creative. Down to the credits. Watch!

 

[Page 23]

[ freedom ]

A sneak peek of Toni & Guy's latest mini collection release oozing with this season's fashion influences and of course the T&G signature edge.

[ how to live before you die ]

An inspiration. Innovative, for sure. This is how I would like to leave this world. Knowing that I made it a better place. RIP.

[ black beauty ]

Did anyone see the miss universe pageant last night? I didn't either, but stumbled upon the final five minutes of the competition. After fifth, fourth, third, and second runner ups were announced [sounds like everyone's a winner these days] by the usually irritating, but somehow manageable Andy Cohen, I was surprised for many reasons to see the country of Angola win it this year. One, that I even knew where that country was, and two, being blown away by her beautiful-non pageant looking hair. Its hard to compete with the beauty 2010 title-ess (she was remarkably gorgeous) but Angola is just as stunning. Must be nice to be beautiful, look amazing in bathing suits and gowns, have a perfect response to world issues and know how to do watery waves with your hands.

[ racous rant ]

Today I will rant. About anything and everything. Mostly about things too infuriating to contain. The words epic and fail. Used in singularity, is like nails on the chalkboard. Together, like death. Foodie. What the fuck is that anyway-a foodie? I hate it. Lacks supreme sophistication. Why can't you enjoy epicurean food without attaching a label to it. Reading this forum and getting mad. Being invited to a party but asked to bring something-sometimes the entire meal. Fuck that I'll stay at home and make my own amazingness. And feel completely welcome. Everyone's Twitter. Its like Facebook statuses on crack. When did these become platforms for fallacious fanfare? Never been a fan of bragging. In my eyes, it makes me think the exact opposite of what you're parading. 'Look at me'-I look away. 'I'm so hot'-You're not. Policing raids in your neighborhood. Do cops know how much time they waste pretending something is actually happening? Pick up walkie talkie. Look at walkie talkie. Pretend to reply using generic command codes such as '10-4' and 'Copy that'. "Investigate" scene. Casually walk up to other cop doing same exact thing you're doing and pretend to confer. Repeat as other cars show up. But don't skip any steps. To do so risks looking novice-you don't want anyone to know your game plan. Walked out the door to see the SWAT team bearing arms as they yell for you too go back inside because 'This isn't TV'. Top of the morning to you, too, sir! Fourth grade math problems. Why don't I know these things anymore. And show your work?!?! No one shows their work. Well maybe Jocelyn Wildenstein. Wide necks. When your neck is as wide as your head, grosses me out. Reminds me of Elijah Wood in Sin City. Creepy! 5AM insomnia from caffeinated bubble teas. MTV's mind gauging material. Rather ironic that the one thing that shot MTV to fame is the one thing it doesn't even stand for anymore. Videos are horrible these days! I can't even remember the last one I've seen that I've actually liked. As always, people lacking senses of self. Latching on to your mere existence, waiting for the next cue. In world where you can be anything, be yourself. And you better not use that song for your wedding. I will kill.

[tigi photo shoot]

My co-workers asked me to help out on their photo shoot at Toni & Guy this weekend and I happily accepted. I love to do these sorts of things but paralyzed by fear of perfection, I never get around to doing it. Doing makeup for photo shoots greatly differs from doing everyday makeup. You have to compensate for drowning flashes and even if seems intense to naked eyes, upping the drama so the camera sees otherwise. I'm clearly still in the learning/experimental process. 

Here are some of the shots of my makeup work done by our salon favorite photographer, Anginet. 

[ photo post ]

[royal madness]

[okay, really?]

[I hope the slot not containing British fanfare material was because Barnes and Noble employee forgot to restock and not because it was sold out]

[ black angels ]

The foxxy Fox theater features new fan favorite, The Black Angels-this time in Boulder. This cozy, stadium style venue was jam packed, full of high energy for this awesome band. They never fail to put on an amazing live show. I may have a girl crush on the drummer-she brings its. Sound delivered as much as psychedelic visuals call to mind slight epilepsy, but the queue of songs just kept getting better as the band played on and they get better every we see them. These guys are gonna be big, if not already. Thank you Josh once again for an amazing night complete with almond milk tea boba and awkward ex co-worker moments.

[ may showers bring may flowers ]

[Pretty in pink flowers in bloom sighted during delightful afternoon promenades on Pearl Street]

[ james blunt ]

Anna Marie's fancy NYC sister, Lucinda, is dating one of the guys from James Blunt [not James] and had extra tickets for us to come see the show. I never turn down a free show so we decided to go. We got to meet James and the rest of the band and hang out at their after party. Despite stuffy VIP spaces and random party goers complete with snuffy coke laden faces, we managed to have a good time.

[ planet earth has a special message for you ]

Quit destroying me it says. When I provide you with plentiful resources and beauty and nature abound, all you do is take, take, take. Classic case of the Giving Tree. It's kind of sad when you think about the deterioration caused by humans: landfills, inexcusable amounts of waste, harmful exhausts, pollutants, deforestation, overdevelopment, overpopulation, Chernobyl...

Luckily for the Earth, I try to practice good habits every day to make this world a cleaner place. Here are a few I live by daily:

• Cut down on bags // I am still not very good at remembering to bring them into the store, or at all, but I use Toni & Guy's eco bags for shopping-especially at the grocery store. They can hold so much-look really stylish and cuts down on all that plastic American Beauty waste. Plus they are 100% Post consumer recycled material.
• Say no to paper bills & receipts // I request all my bills come paperless [ I just throw them in a heaping pile of paper garbage anyway] and to my inbox instead. And I pay everything online or over the phone-whichever is free-this cuts down the need for stamps, envelopes and ink. Stores even give you the option of emailing you your receipt!
• Rethink lanscaping // Water is already scarce, so watering brown lawns in Denver still doesn't make sense to me. That's why we are planning on installing artificial turf-thanks to this reflection. We are also planning on xeriscaping our backyard. The less water, the better-and our yard will look great year round!
• Reduce water usage in little ways // I am always conscious of how much water I am using. We try to keep our monthly water bill around $30-for three people in the household is not bad. I turn off water while doing the dishes, while I'm conditioning and shaving during the shower and especially while brushing my teeth. I am reminded of an animated short I saw on Sesame Street [and its stuck with me all these years], where there's a whale in the ocean and a little boy is brushing his teeth and leaves the water running and pretty soon the whale has no more water to swim in. How sad! I think: save some for the whales when brushing my teeth and waiting in line at the drinking fountain.
• Don't wash your hair every day // Unless you work it out like a maniac at the gym, or sweat profusively with no known causes, then I highly suggest and warrant you a shower. But most of the time, your hair could use a break from all the overdrying and overstyling in your life. Saves water and most of the time day old hair looks and styles better!
• Turn off the lights // I sit in the dark a lot [thanks Mom] and only turn on the ones I need. 
• I carpool everyday // And unfortunately, there are no HOV lanes where I'm going.
• I buy 100%recyclable material // whenever I can. This includes stationary, notebooks, paper. Even packaged items from the grocery store. Its nice to know that we are discovering how to create new things from old things.
• I love thrifting // Trash to treasure simply said. Look at how much fun I had here. If you can find a use for it, it's no longer going into monumental landfills.
• Don't buy bottled water // What a waste of money. Who cares about a few impurities-it builds immune systems. Its not like we're drinking Nile water laden with malaria and pathogenic microorganisms. Plastic doesn't compose easily so don't condone production of more plastic bottles that end up in the street! I have a double wall insulated Starbucks cup that I fill with ice water from home. I keep it in the car-especially on hot days [this prevents the need to buy water and use so much air conditioning-plus it keeps you hydrated]. This brings me to my next point... 
• Limit consumption of packaged material. Buy fresh or in bulk // If you can't recycle, don't drink beer or soda. Buy in bulk. Ever notice how much packaging material comes with a small box of rice? Or prepackaged dinners? Eliminate a round of waste by hitting up the bulk aisles at Whole Foods or Sunflower Market [Newflower if you live in Dallas haha]. Or the Farmer's market-always support local grocers. And ditch the flimsy plastic bags in the produce aisles-there is no use in having those. They go straight to the trash.
• Don't litter // Special thanks to the idiots that think its okay to dispose their Quarter Pounder Meal out the window onto the street. It makes the world look like Shanghai. Dirty and trashy. Literally. I pick up trash sometimes and put in proper receptacles. My biggest pet peeve is littering. I hate seeing it and NEVER do it. I put trash in my pockets and empty later if I'm unable to find a bin. 
• Buy energy star appliances // Our new fridge is great. It runs so efficiently. Energy compliant appliances not only make a difference but cuts down on energy saving.
• Keep heating/cooling costs down // I wear extra layers during winter. Don't tell anyone but my house slippers are UGGS that keep me warm and when you're bundled up in blankets and sweaters-who needs to turn the heater up? In the summer, its all about the skimp-shorts, tanks and ice cold waters all around. We don't have AC so you have to make use of what you've got. Even if making your downstairs a seasonal living room is the next best option.
• Park at the first spot you see // Don't be neurotic and circle the lot because you hope some rockstar parking is gonna open up. Especially around the holidays. I usually park at the first space I see and walk a little further. Unless I'm wearing these. Your ass and love handles will thank you later. Those commercials are so gross where they find blobs of random fat. 'Someone took the stairs instead of the elevator'.
• Don't use the dishwasher // Sometimes they don't even get the dishes all that clean. I've learned that if you rinse off the dishes after you're done cooking or eating it eliminates the need for scrubbing since food particles get caked on. It cuts back on the water usage and energy used to wash your dishes on "heavy duty". Have you ever listened to how much water is used during a cycle? Immediate hand washing results in using less soap, and dishes are usually done in about 10 minutes. And I always use the dishwasher to air dry. Josh says we have an expensive drying rack.  So hand wash, clean up as you go, and air dry!
• Download albums as mp3s // Who needs the little packet that shows what record label signed who and where and if you're lucky, printed lyrics? The worst part is finding ways to make those ugly CD Jewels design wise appealing. I use iTunes to buy albums now-less waste. Now to find a bigger hard drive...
• Cook at home as often as possible // Do you ever notice how much trash comes with your to-go order? Forks, knives, stickers that hold your napkin and silverware together, lids, containers, packets of horrendous hot sauces and fake butter. Cook at home, buy in bulk. Its healthier, you can get creative with your meals and you throw away less. 
• Use less paper towels // I am still working on this-its gross how many paper towels I use when cooking. I'm going to buy those reusable towels for spills and wiping my hands.
• Unplug // All those chargers dangling from the socket and electronics you have plugged in and aren't using are sucking up energy. Unplug it all until you need to use it.
• Upcycle. Be creative and resourceful // I love to find uses for mundane items. I reuse glass Coca Cola bottles for flowers. I love having fresh flowers/foliage in the house. Old tea tins become decoration, All that "trash" I was talking about earlier regarding takeout? I use as containers for lunch the next day when I cook at home. Noodles and Company have the best takeout containers. I save them and store leftovers in and bring them to work the next day. People are always asking,"Where'd you get that?" And I say, I made it last night. All that silverware? I save for when we have parties or get togethers, so I'm not throwing them away without using them. 
• Buy paint with no or low VOC // Volatile Organic Compounds are harmful to the Earth and humans. Look for the label for all your environmental redecorating needs.
• Recycle // This is probably the hardest one. Because if you do, you are always conscious of the process: sorting, organizing, prompting guests to filter their trash. How do you always remember? Throwing things away is such a mindless task for some people. And if you can afford to recycle, afford to buy all those bins and pay the monthly quota for it, you have to worry about people stealing them when you put them out. I unfortunately, can't afford to. It's really expensive, so I've just learned to cut back on everything. I only drink water which reduces aluminum and plastic material going in the trash. An occasional Izze here and there;) I don't get the paper. I archive all my magazine subscriptions. I reuse/repurpose my glass containers.

This world is a beautiful mystery and there is none other like it in the universe so take care of this unique place!! Quit trashing it and depleting it of all its glory! Live in unison with nature and not in destructive domination. How will you make an everyday difference to conserve and make this world a better place-until 2012 that is? What are some practices you partake in to contribute to greener and healthier living?

[ did you do your taxes? ]

It's due today. So hurry. I file my own taxes, and I'm sure I overlook a few breaks here and there, but my main goal is to get them in and done. Maybe when I own four or more homes, several businesses including the success of Patina's Precis, then maybe I will think about itemizations and hiring a pro. Until then Turbo Tax works for me. I would hate to be in the position where the IRS is hounding me to pay back taxes and what not.

This calls to mind a few familiar faces that have been guilty as charged...Don't be these people! File your taxes! Go to the library or H&R or hunt down the roadside comedic assistance provided to you in part by dancing Statue of Liberties. But whatever you do, don't do what they did!

All guilty of Tax Evasion:

[Snipes, Braxton, and Sinbad all guilty]

 [What do a baker, Burt Reynolds, and booby babes have in common-that's right! They're all tax frauds!]

[If it can happen to Chuck Berry and James Brown-believe it can happen to you]

 [Jerry Lee and Lil Kim have more in common than you think. They both don't like doing their taxes.]

[Mark and Willie]

[Nas. Even opera singers get slammed for Tax Evasion. Opera man-bye byeeee!]

[Unpaid taxes paid for Nick's mail order bride. And Method Man looks a lot like NAS]

 [This was too funny to pass up]

What do you usually spend your tax returns on? What will you do with them this year?

[ seventies revival ]

Perhaps its my tentative ride to Born Free 3 in CA on the back of a 70s Custom Chopper, but I am having a Seventies' resurgence. I am all about the high waisted wide legs, chunky platforms, tie-neck blouses and gold, gold, gold all the way live!

[ natalie portman wants your eggs ]

The former self-proclaimed and self-righteous [did anyone see her on Top Chef?] Vegan ecorazzi actress announced that she is "listening to her body". She has now gone back to her former vegetarian diet and is getting raging comments regarding her newfound dietary switch. So the girl needs a cookie every now and then, big deal. I'm more concerned with how fabulous she's been looking throughout her pregnancy. Her DUH!Winning Red carpet look was TDF OMG LOL.

Natalie's other winning pregnancy looks:

[Some women are dead giveaways to what they will be rearing in the upcoming 9 months, Natalie on the other hand just looks ever so beautiful]

This reminds me of a pregnancy style post I am going to do. How to make a baby bump stylish. I will add it to the swaying pile of heaping things to do.

[ and $700 in services goes to... ]

The Battered Women's Charity Event. Every year, I volunteer my services, the least I can do for the community. Its my way of giving back to the world, adding to the efforts to make this world a more beautiful place, one person at a time. I arrive at 8 in the morning and leave by 2-hit up the Bourbon Chicken Stand I used to frequent off Colfax & Humboldt and drive to work by 3 and work until 8 or 9 and call it a day. Its a tradition-I do it every year. Except lately I've been shaving my arrival time by thirty minutes in yearly succession...

 [The church where all the beautifying happens]

[A photo of me in action. It was actually taken last year. You can tell by my Miss Hawaiian Tropic tan and leftover beach goddess hair. Should I dye it dark again?? It was way too busy to take pictures this year]

This is my eighth year of doing this and probably my last [don't tell Donna], since I will be moving in a few months. We basically meet in the church and cut hair for these women on non hydraulic seating with poor ventilation and equally poor electrical currents. It is an event that is designed to give these hardworking women a day all to themselves that they couldn't normally afford or take the time to do themselves. Aside from hairstyling services, there are also makeup artists, photographers, masseuses, manicurists, and an on-site electrician for all your electrical blowout needs. I do have to say all these years of participation has provided me with not only TV airtime, but the satisfaction of knowing that someone truly appreciates your services, and is grateful, unlike snobby soccerish moms of Highlands Ranch that think their life is over because"they look like a retard" when their hair is cut a centimeter too short. The former is definitely rewarding. And its fun when the ladies remember you and line up in anticipation of your cuts because they recall the wonderful haircut you gave them last year. And the year before that...

This year, however, I am noticing a lot of familiar faces. Which is good that I am able to familiarize, but at the same time I am curious as to why they are still there. Milking the system?? This year I saw about 8 women that I fully remember and they seem to be doing well. One had decked out highlights [on waist long hair]-how did she afford that with four kids? Another one was having her fifth kid-and talking about what club she was going out to that night. Another lady must have been well over fifty-was she planning on retiring at Warren Village shelter? I won't say who, but I know there are women out there with kids, maybe four, that wouldn't dare think of themselves first before their kids, who do it by themselves, walk everywhere because they can't afford a car, and live in tiny one bedroom apartments and sleep on the floor and take all donated clothing from the church to wear because they can't afford to buy clothing and work their asses off doing crazy manual labor type jobs because its the only way to make ends meet. They are the ones that need and deserve rewards such as this. Not these people.

Its kind of bittersweet thinking that this will be my last time doing this. Sad, because its almost become a part of me, a tradition-if you will, but its the little fishy things like that that validate my feelings for wanting to find a new volunteer program-for people who TRULY need it. I love Project Angel Heart located here in Colorado. I used to to work with them when I was with M.A.C. What a special organization. But since I'm moving, it will be hard to get with their program. And I'm kinesthetic type person. I'd much rather work with people or projects than to write a check and send away.

That said, do you have a favorite charity? What is your way of helping those who truly need it?

[ samantha's wedding ]

While I'm on a kick for posting last years' pictures, here is another wedding updo and makeup application I did on the pretty pretty Samantha. Sam was an example of a modern bride. She had a feather hairpiece that we attached atop her elegant updo. She wanted a look that celebrities are wearing to red carpet events. Think Heidi Klum, Eva Longoria, or even Miley Cyrus. A loose look off to the side, but properly secure. The result is a free spirited, yet modern look.

This is the decision process I go through when deciding what look will best suit a Bride. These are also things you should consider when selecting a look for your big day:

• Will this look suit the Bride [Samantha] //  Yes
• Does the Bride have the type of hair to support this style// Yes
• If not, will she need to get extensions, cut her hair, fringe, or color her hair or use other accessories to make it possible? [These days, anything is possible]// No
• What is the overall look // Modern, Elegant, Stylish
• Will there be hair adornments // Yes
• What is the style// Soft, asymmetrical side gathered bun with loose waves
• Will all the hair be pinned up// Yes
• Will you have jewelry// Earrings only
• Does the hairstyle match the neckline of the dress// Yes
• Does the hairstyle match the style and feel of wedding theme// Yes

After discussing suitability, face shape, style, and other design oriented implementations, we decided to give it a whirl. When you are realistic, passionate and apply your knowledge and skills-you can make anything happen.

Here is a visual art board of what we were working with:

The Components:

• Eva Longoria's red carpet hairstyle is probably one of my most requested looks, by both brides and senior prom attendees. Loose, but secure-I'm always having to assure brides this. Then they find that they can dance away the night, squeeze in a shag, and sleep away in one of my updos and wake up to find it reassuringly secure. I have a friend that can attest to this. But the hairstyle itself is fresh, yet youthful. Modern and elegant-loose updos are a modern progression of the Aqua Netted slicked and tight styles, spiral curly madness of the 80s, 90s, and today [I sound like I'm advertising a radio station]. 
• Sarah Michelle Gellar's undone bun below is also another top request. And surprisingly easy to do and pull off. Miley Cyrus' is strikingly similar but with a twisted side variation. 
• Feather Hairpieces and birdcage veils are the ultimate 20th Century Bridal Trend.  Like tulle and gathering were synonymous with the 80s, I think the last 15 brides I've done have all donned one of these. A nod to the flappers, feathers add an elegant mystery to the style and in white exudes elegance.

[Diamonds, diamonds, always dripping in diamonds. This says classy, elegant and stylish bride]

[What side do you attach accessories to, if you have an asymmetrical style? A question I'm often posed with. We attached, after much debate, the feather hairpiece off to the same side we loosely piled the hair to. It just flowed well, and visually looked right to me, so we went with it. Whatever side you decide you choose, just be sure it blends well with the hairstyle. It should accent your hair, not disrupt visual flow]

[Smart brides use and choose M.A.C!]

[Back view]

What do you think? I still need to get my portfolio together. I know I have a lot of empty tabs up above also and II apologize for it. I'm working on it!

[ annoying acronyms ]

Today's annoying acronyms are brought to you in part by trendy twenty-somethings, trendy twenty-something's Mom's Twitter, hipster bloggers and eye-gauging Facebook Statuses:

[Coming in on top]: FTW

FML

OMW

WTH/WTF

OMG-even though I wanted this shirt

TTYL/TTFN

IMHO

ROFL

LMAO

LOL

Why does society continue to abbreviate everything? Pretty soon our conversations will be full on acronyms. Remember short-hand? That didn't work out too well did it?

[ top chef all star reunion ]

Just got done watching the Top Chef Reunion. Chock full of clever edits, familiar faces, revisits of pressing topics and footage of what seems to be unscripted material of aforementioned title: Best Season Ever. Coming in with 2.77 million viewers-this just proves it. Rather than go into long winded, prolix meanderings of the show, here are fragments ADD bulletpoints style. Enjoy.

• One, shut up Mike. And stop rolling your eyes every time they reiterate Richard as winner.
• Did anyone else enjoy watching how red Jen got rewatching her raging reflection?
• It funny how I ended up liking Antonia in the end. Even though she has a schoolgirl crush on her cousin.
• I love, love, love Richard. I also loved how the sous chefs, and well, everyone was excited for his winning announcement. When you treat people with respect-especially your team members, they return it full circle.
• So much guy love [Richard and Fabio & Mike and Angelo]! And Dale certainly has got mad hots for Angelo. He gets all flustered and twitchy when talking to or about him.
• Its like the reunion read this entry and touched base on all of its content.
• I'm going to use the Small Thumb Excuse for everything: After all, it validated Spike and Jen's elimination. Thank you Jamie for clearing that up. "I'm a little person".
• Hammer Time! Could there be a title better suited that is the summation of a person's curse on a TV show than the Black Hammer?  Double hammered, Bahamian hammered. Too funny.
• Fabio boochured a lamb, walks his turtle, and makes a mean booorger.
• Eric Ripert has breasts.
• I felt satiated to see a side of Padma's personality, she revealed crazy jungle fever for Tre, repressed sexual desires to motorboat Antonia, and just seemed real. Or like she had too many gins and tonics.
• Karla's a spazz. And I love it. 

I'm sure this is a topic that has been much discussed but I like how diplomatically Richard and Tom handled otherwise difficult topics. I hate that Mike is so full of defensiveness that to this day, still stands firm that he came up with that dish all his own and didn't even assign proper credit to Richard or his notes. Had he not seen that, there would have been no winning Chicken Oyster dish for Mike that day. No way. Richard didn't say that he came up with it at all, but, Jesus, Isabella don't ever act like it was your idea all along. Pilfering gets you no where. In fact, it gets you second place. Either way, check out this episode OnDemand before it goes away or they charge $4.99 for it!





"First I'd do it for friends, then I'd do it for money" 
Anthony Bourdain on Egg-Whoring.

[ set your eyes, and bike, to stun ]

Somewhere, Josh is pooing his pants. Or expelling some other bodily excrement out of sheer excitement. He's been talking about getting an industrial warehouse-type loft with an entrance wide enough to park his ever growing collection of bikes inside. While a part of me was envisioning grease stains on the hardwood and a living room that might as well have a wall that opens by way of that fancy garage door contraption one keeps on the visor in the car, these images make me rethink the whole concept altogether. Now what to say when guests ask, "Can I sit here?"...

Per: AT